The assfuck in these commercials is in about 1,500 other commercials, but these make me want to eat people. There's a whole series of Intel commercials in which they're pushing their servers onto stupid fucking businessmen that don't know which side of the TV watch.  They feature a group of professional types (and by that I mean people that were business majors in college) standing in line for some reason, sitting in a restaurant, or talking to each other over the phone.  Here's the dialogue from every commercial. 

"I love sitting here at this cafe on the corner fingering my asshole.  How's your trip going, Ted?"
"Plans changed, Bill.  I'm in Paris now growing a really gay handlebar mustache and practicing my snootiness."
"Really, Ted?  I thought you were going to be in Tokyo fucking 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirls in exchange for Chuck-E-Cheese tokens while I'm in LA trying out for a reality show in which seven inept marketers such as myself compete for stock options by throwing cottage cheese at each other."
"Shit, Bill.  You're in LA?  I thought you were in New York throwing away the company's money on crack and betting on cock fights."
"Yeah, well Ted, I found out that a cock fight is actually two roosters fighting to the death, and not an anonymous hot, gay sex held in a public bathroom in Central Park so I said 'fuck it' and came to LA to suck TV producer cock all day while whoring myself on reality shows.  Plans change."
"They sure do, Bill.  That's why we use Intel servers at our company."
"Dammit, Ted!  Do you ever talk about anything other than servers?"
"Ha ha ha, only when I'm giving your wife the Dizzie Gillespie treatment, Bill!"

Seriously, that's what happens in the commercials.  "Server technology for an On Demand world", my ass.  I demand that you people explode.

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