____. . .Why
buy a car when you can get a glorified go-kart instead?
KIA
First of all, Kias are pieces of
shit. I hate them. Do you know why they have such an impressive
warranty? 1) Because you'll need it, and 2) to trick retards into
buying one. You're better off building a go-kart that runs on
hamster-in-a-wheel technology. That way it'll only cost you a few
hamsters and a trip to the lumber yard. The one commercial I really
hate (among many hated Kia commercials) is the one where the guy
leaves his office, walk out to his 1982 Pontiac Phoenix hatchback,
and lo and behold, it's only a tarp! It's a really fancy tarp, but
the fact remains that he covered up his $8000 Kia. Because, you
know, they're prime real estate in the stolen car market. I think it's
funny that it's a tarp painted like a Phoenix because I'm pretty
sure I was the last person to ever own one. Anyway, this nervous
ass-monger suspiciously eyes EVERYONE on the street as if
anyone wants to steal his precious piece of shit car (remember - I owned a Phoenix, so
believe me, I know what a piece of shit car is). Then, he licks his
finger to rub off a smudge that only crazy people can see, and he
drives off. Probably to play Dungeons and Dragons. What a tool.