Fuck these commercials, and fuck whoever came up with them in the skull.  Yeah, I know the Poser Mobile Posse is supposed to be annoying, but they're annoying to the point where I want to set T Mobile Wireless stores on fire.  (And if anyone asks, I was hanging out with you from 1:00AM to 3:00AM on the night of December 2nd.)  This should have been a one-commercial deal, since no one in their right mind could possibly find this funny. If anything, these commercials should make you not want to buy a prepaid T Mobile phone.  But no, there's a series of commercials where this gang of douche-bags tackle a random guy somewhere and start spouting off gibberish that I'm guessing is supposed to be a white guy's impression of hip street slang.  I could be wrong since my finger is far from the pulse of the community, but anyone who'd go out in public talking like that would probably learn almost immediately to knock that shit off since everyone within hearing distance will uncontrollably beat them to death for the greater good, just like at the end of Disturbing Behavior when the crazy people chase after the pickup truck in a bloodthirsty rage because it's making that horrible noise.  Again, yeah, they're that annoying on purpose, but it makes the commercials that much more unbearable.  Especially the latest one, where one idiot says, "The fees are coming, the fees are coming!"  My god, a Paul Revere joke?  Now that is cutting fucking edge humor.

And on another note, who buys a prepaid cell phone?  You know that once you get a cell phone, life without one turns into a complete ordeal, so why not just sign up for a plan like normal people?  And don't start spouting out nonsensical bullshit like, "Oh, well I don't want a contract because I think changing cell phone companies every three months is a one-way-ticket to awesome!  I'm fighting the machine!  They're not going to own me for two years!"  Well you know what?  They already own you since you keep buying minutes from them whenever you run out.  How is that not more of a hassle?  I'm not exactly sure how the whole prepaid thing works because I don't want to deal with constantly buying more minutes since I can't even get around to paying my regular bill until they turn my phone off.  I'm not sure if you have to return the phone or something gay like that.  And if that's the case, why would you want to use a phone someone you don't know has been breathing on constantly for a few months?  And if you're getting a Sidekick (which is apparently all the rage on the prepaid scene), let me tell you something: the only people that use Sidekicks are whores that want to be like Paris Hilton, so they suck mad cock and then call up their friends to tell them before sending out a mass email text message thing to inform everyone she knows on the computer.  Then she returns the phone.  Maybe the T Mobile employees will clean off the phone with that magic spray they use for shoes in bowling alleys, but since people that work at T Mobile stands hate their lives, it's more likely that they're wiping their asses with the thing.  Then, you come into the store and buy that prepaid Sidekick. The clerk laughs at you after you leave because his/her fecal remnants will be dangerously close to your mouth when you use the phone.  But that's not the worst part.  The worst part is after a few weeks of using the phone, you start to notice cold sores forming on your lips.  That's because the previous owner had herpes and got gunk all over the phone. That's right, asshole; you just bought yourself some oral herpes.  Congratulations.

Obviously, that scenario only happens if that's how prepaid phones work.  If you buy the phone straight out and just a finite amount of minutes on it, guess what - you're pretty much stuck with a $200 phone that you have to keep pumping money into every month for more minutes since the only thing it'll be good for is a really fancy paperweight once the minutes are gone.  And also, you're pretty much stuck with the company that sold you the phone too since it's configured exclusively for the provider.  So that means you're basically on a regular cell phone plan that's 9,000 times more annoying. Have fun, douche.

Again, I could be wrong and that's no how it works.  I also don't care to find out since I'm not the type of social invalid who buys prepaid cell phones.

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