__ _____________________________________________. . .Boy,
yogurt sure is good!
THE YOGURT
DIET
This commercial
makes me want to punch a tailor. It starts off with some lady
walking into a dry cleaners (oddly enough a dry cleaning place not
run by Koreans) and plops a pile of laundry on the counter and asks
the mammoth working there to take the clothes in. Fuck you,
lady; buy new clothes. Who gets their sweat pants and hoodies
taken in? And on that note, stop dressing like a slob, lady.
Take some pride in your appearance. Or mouth-fuck a shotgun,
what do I care?
Anyway, after telling Bertha
the tailor to take in the clothes, she starts saying, "Oh, it's
because of all the key lime pie and chocolate something-or-other and
rat feces and semen I've been eating." No one asked. The
two then go back in forth in a HILARIOUS exchange where the tailor
assumes the annoying woman wants the clothes let out since she
stuffs her face and the annoying woman says "No, in" over and over
again. It's like an Abbot & Costello bit if they were both on
their periods and had Down's Syndrome. This side-tickling,
knee-slapping dialog reaches it's boiling point when the annoying
lady says, "Okay, I was just outside, then I came in, so take the
clothes in." What the fuck are you talking about?! What
does that even fucking mean?! First off, saying something that
stupid is only going to confuse Tailor Bertha further since she's an
idiot. Second off, FUCKING DIE, YOU ANNOYING SKANK. Save
the attitude and stop trying to be funny because you suck at it.
Fuck your face, fuck your clothes, and fuck your yogurt.
I am 100% certain that the
woman who wrote this commercial weighs 350 pounds, has 13 cats, and
masturbates to Dancing with the Stars with a frozen hot dog.
She should quit her job in marketing and immediately cover herself
in tuna and let her cats eat her. Yogurt is gross anyway.
It's also extremely gay. Observe:
There's another yogurt
commercial too, in case your funny bone wasn't tickled enough by the
first travesty. The same annoying lady is on the phone talking
about her favorite deserts. We're never told who she's talking
too, but my guess is that the phone isn't even plugged in anyway.
Her eunuch husband comes in the kitchen, overhears her, and starts
tearing apart the fridge looking for these deserts that she keeps
talking about. Instead, there are about 300 things of yogurt
in there. Then the commercial ends when I put my foot through
the TV.
