"Why isn't Usher in more movies?  I mean, he was fantastic in The Faculty!  And I loooove that Yeah Yeah song, you know, the one where they say "yeah y-yeah, yeah" over and over in it?  Have you heard that one?  Oh man, that shit is my jam! It makes me want to GET UP AND DANCE on top of the bar, spray my drink all over everyone, like they do in crazy bars in the movies!  And then, at then end of the night, I park my car and blare that My Boo song out of my car stereo as I slow dance with myself under the stars.  Usher, your way with words and musical sensibility makes my soul weep for joy..." said the 21-year-old vacant and brain-dead girl this fucking movie was made for.

The target audience for In the Mix is basically everyone who lists their musical taste as "I like all kinds of music except country, it depends on my mood!  Rarrrr, I am a creature!*" in their posh, pink and glaringly misspelled Myspace profiles that probably have pictures of the Laguna Beach cast sprinkled randomly about in the background. And no, I wouldn't condescend to speaking to anyone this vapid unless it was the words, "No dessert for me, thanks.  Just the check."
*Translation: "I only listen to what Top 40 radio decides I should like this week because I am terrified of what my equally worthless and shallow friends would say or do if they found out I had an independent thought!  I am a creature!"

A movie like this comes out every year.  It's a contrived plot about a black musician/DJ/straight male professional dancer (as if they existed in real life) being thrown into a wacky circumstantial position with a white girl that is rich/the daughter of a mob boss/a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed suburban or country girl that feels no prejudice even though all of the other people in the movie hate her for being white and therefore the devil. But, for some unforeseeable reason, these movies are never comedies even though the whole thing sounds like a bad joke told by someone with a massive head wound (which it just might be).

In this particular version of Save the Last Dance, Usher is a DJ that saves a mob boss' life and then is rewarded with being said mob boss' daughter's bodyguard.  Totally sweet reward, right?  And then, of course, they fall in love.  And then the wacky hijinx ensue.  I can't believe this even made the top 300 list of potential scripts featuring Usher.  There must've been one passed around during the brainstorming session where he won a monkey in the lottery that could breakdance to Li'l John songs and ended with the monkey teaching us to love and laugh all over again.  I'd almost watch that as long as it was chock full of montages where the monkey tries on clothes.  Instead we're treated to a mafia/unlikely interracial love affair that won't contain nearly as much violence or nudity as a mafia-themed movie should. Hopefully it will be out of the theaters faster than you can say "Deliver Us From Eva" and we can all forget about it forever.

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