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HIS NAME IS ARMAN
DINARVAND
 ...And
he is my new hero. A friend passed this link onto me awhile
ago, and every once in a while, when I need a quick burst of
laughter, I will go to his profile and laugh at his inability to
speak English. Does this make me a bad person? Yeah, I'm sure it
does. I should be commending him for at least attempting to master
the English language, especially since the only foreign things I can
say are, "My name is Greg," and, "You gave me a bad rash. You will
pay," in several different European languages. But I think it makes
me happier to laugh at him, and I do just that.
There is no
way I can adequately capture how fucking awesome his profile is
without quoting the entire thing, so I'm going to do just that:
His name is
Arman Dinarvand. He was born in 1989. He lives in Tehran in
IRAN. He is a student. He is in grade 3 in high school. He
started mixing and djing in 20th may of 2005. Before he get
started he had listened to all genres of music for 4 years and
he listened professionally to music. His first mix called
Electronic. This song is a good style of trance genre.
he had remixed
many songs of tiesto mixed many song from iranian singers and
make music by himself. He is the youngest dj in the world and he
is the first Iranian dj in trance genre. His song only have
music. It is fuzion. Take you a magical trip. Take you the
freedom.
Awesome. I
like how it starts off like the beginning of Renegade: "He was a
cop, and good at his job. He committed the ultimate crime. He
testified against bad cops, etc." The short sentences that all
start with "he" or "his" make him sound totally bad ass. Know what
else is bad ass? The unibrow. He is also extremely angry at the
world despite wanting to, "Take you the freedom." But what do you
expect from someone that writes about himself in the third person as
if he's critically acclaimed?
He's really
serious about making music in trance genre though. I mean, he
listens to music professionally. I only listen to music for
leisure; I put the clipboard down when it's time to rock and take me
a magical trip. But not Arman Dinarvand, no; he listened to every
genre of music known to man, and this includes honky tonk, gospel,
novelty rap ala The Fat Boys, even Australian salsa-funk.
I must admit,
his song is a good style of trance genre. Well, in that it's
boring and repetitive. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if there were
vocals or something, but "his song only have music." I guess it's a
good thing, because I'd hate to imagine what his voice sounds like.
Probably moaning and undulations mixed with broken English and
whatever's Iranian for, "Death to the infidels." And I know he
obviously can't speak English, but you'd think he'd come up with a
better name for his "first mix" than "Electronic." Naming an
electronic song "Electronic" is like naming your brand-new puppy
"Dog" or your new sports car "VROOOOOM!"
I hope this
kid goes on tour after he gets out of grade 3 in high school. It
would be the best rave ever! I have to dust off my glow sticks and
pacifiers. |
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