Check it:

I saw this guy on his phone all day in my office.  He is some foreign guy and he was in the building for a meeting or something.  I first saw him in my office, and after my spit-take, I said to myself "I wish I had a camera to take his picture, but I don't want him to know I'm taking his picture."  Then I remembered I had a camera phone.  Later I saw him in the lobby, and I tried to take a picture with my phone but it was way too dark.  This was going on all day; I'd keep missing the chance to take his picture.  I felt like a spy, which rules.  Then, as I was going to my car, he was outside.  The light was fine and I got a picture.  Now we can all laugh at him.

Okay, you can make a pathetic attempt at defending him by saying "OOH, HE'S FOREIGN!  HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRESS!!!1"  Well, you'd be WRONG.  First of all, foreign or not, he's visiting an office on business.  All the foreign people with him were in suits.  He decided to wear his "Holiday Bikes" shirt.  Not that I care about what's inappropriate at the office, but one of his boys could have at least told him to wear a suit and burn that shirt immediately.  But they didn't.  He must be the cool-guy rebel of the crew.

Let's take an in-depth look at this shirt.  You may find this difficult because every instinct you have is telling you to look away and scream.  First, it's red, green and white all over the place.  It looks like the interior of a pizza place threw up on him.  Second, the shirt says "Holiday Bikes."  I don't know what that means.  And finally, it's got a cartoon of two people on bikes (that I'm guessing are of the "holiday" variety), and the person that drew the original design probably survives on sea water, lead paint, and guano.  It looks ridiculous.

As a side note, this tool was on the phone all day in the lobby, in the office, and out in the parking lot.  I'm guessing he was calling either:

1. His mom for emotional support after everyone he's with made fun of him and gave him swirlies and wedgies.

2. The person who designed his shirt, making threats and cursing the designer's family name (in a foreign fashion).

3. His wife, for fucking up when she picked out his clothes for the day.

4. The police, to confess that he's a serial killer.  Anyone with a shirt like that is obviously crazy enough to be a serial killer or at least a baby eater.

I'm not saying that I know anything at all about fashion, but at least I know enough to not wear that shirt. And, yes, I'm also saying that I'm an asshole, and I don't care.

Update: the Holiday Bikes website can be found here.  It still sucks though.  To the left is a picture of the kind of lame ass shit they sell.

As you can see, there is absolutely no excuse in the world for a bike to have a basket on it.  I don't care if it's a girl's bike.  I don't care if the bike is specifically for retarded girls with one leg and two heads, this kind of shit is unacceptable.  It probably has a bell on it, too.

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